Berwer
Berwer was originally formed in the spring of 1997 by Andrew F. Mansberger (guitar), Christopher L. Moore (drumset), and Joseph X. Burke (bass guitar).
They made lots of friends and each drank 1 ltr. of energy drink: Andrew drank JOLT, Joe drank SURGE, and Chris drank Mountain Dew. Typical Berwer songs clocked-in at about 1.5 minutes in length.
Six months after their conception, Joe left the band, to be replaced by Dana J. Owens. Berwer continued to write songs and make friends, and sometimes have sex.
After a while it was decided that Berwer needed a second guitar player, in order to be louder and therefore more sexually appealing. Greg Schweser was tested, but his tenure in the band was so short, I’m neglecting to put his middle initial in his name. In the winter of 2000, Brennan L. Sang was brought onboard to play his guitar. His musical input helped steer the band away from dangerous “power-pop” tendencies, which was definately cutting down on the sex appeal. This new sound also allowed the band to explore the possibilities of the elusive 6/8 time signature, as well as the concept of “epic songs”; songs so long that they lasted a whole 2 minutes, 45 seconds.
Berwer has played a whole bunch of shows with a whole lot of bands. A lot of this could be contributed to the fact that whenever Joel Wick wanted an opening band to play for $20, Berwer would say “yes”. (It is important to note that these days, the members of Berwer won’t even open their guitar cases for less than $50. That’s inflation for you.)
Over the years, a long list of personal achievements has been checked-off:
-A beer bottle whizzed past Chris’ head and exploded on a basement wall.
-Police were called to break up shows three consecutive times.
-Upon introduction to Ian Mackaye, Andrew said “I like your hat”.
-Dana has played in the band for seven years without ever buying his own equipment.
-Brennan has played at least ten shows in a wheelchair, on crutches, or with a cane.
For this and many other reasons, Berwer will continue to play rock and roll music at maximum volume and top speed, until someone politely asks us to stop.
PERSONELL
A: Andrew Franklin Mansberger is the youngest of four sons born to Mark and Nancy Mansberger. At a very young age, he displayed a tremendous aversion to insects of any kind. He was expelled from sixth grade for prank calling 911 from the school payphone, and threatening to assasinate his vice principal. In his year away from school, he taught himself the secret workings of Apple computers, as well as every guitar lick that Kurt Cobain ever played, exactly as it was played. An incredibly talented and versatile musician, Andrew has released several recordings under the moniker “Frank Fuzz“, and enjoys line-art drawing, video production, and killing stinkbugs.
B: Brennan Louis Sang is the oldest of two sons born to Pamela Chappel and Fred Sang. As the son of two music teachers, Brennan enjoyed derision and taunting from his peers at an early age. Most of his youth was spent discovering unusual ways to do great physical harm to himself, such as skateboarding, and tying the corners of a large blue tarp to his wrists and ankles, then leaping off of a second-story rooftop. Brennan received his first bass guitar at the age of thirteen, and started a band with Andrew’s older brother Jeff, Dave Johnson, and Chris. This band was Pasta Madonna. They made a 7? record, containing the hits “Pennies in the Toilet”, “Stroke”, and “Pissing in the Gene Pool”. Despite never graduating from high school, nor seeking his GED, Brennan has taught college-level computer courses, raked-in $35K a year, and will soon have his own billboard on I-94. He serves as a living “fuck you” to compulsory education. When not defying the man, Brennan enjoys fly-fishing, hockey, graphic arts, and fly-tying. He is the first member of the band to own property, as well as the first member to get engaged.
C: Christopher Lander Moore is the youngest of two sons born to Shay and Winston Moore. Much of his early years involved running around his family’s farm, defecating whenever he felt the urge, and wiping his toddler bottom with stinging nettles. Much of Chris’ heavy metal roots comes from his older brother, who was the first high-schooler in Bangor MI to wear a leather jacket, and ruled Bus #10 from the backseat (you know, the single one that all kids covet) with an iron hand. His parents also helped by sending him to the first day of second grade in a paint-spattered and torn “BLACK SABBATH 1980 WORLD TOUR” T-shirt, a well-worn yellow and resplendent with demons. Chris served as Paw Paw High School’s marching band “drum major” from 1995 to 1997, which ironically involved not playing the drums. Chris owns the band van, which occasionally is used to transport the band and its equipment to exotic locations like Grand Rapids, Michigan. Chris currently resides in Marquette MI, with his girlfriend Gillian and their fish. He is enrolled for the first time at Northern Michigan University, where he is pursuing a BFA. He enjoys bicycles and their secret workings, vintage drums, Great Lakes freighters and their history, and beer.
D: Dana Jay Owens is the oldest of two sons born to a human female and a space alien. His remarkable physiology allowed him to survive an incident wherein he collided with a tree-root on a 50cc dirtbike, impaling his calf from end to end. Dana graduated in 1996 from Bangor High School, where his picture still hangs on the wall. He showed great promise as a visual artist there, and several of his paintings still remain in the cafeteria.
Dana’s pursuit of music also began in high school, where he helped form a band who’s name consisted of the first two letters of every member’s name. Later bands included All Night Fuji and Boy Wonder. Dana continues to defy society, as he has not had a bank account in over ten years. He has been known to drive a car for four years without ever changing its oil, and manages car repairs for $200 that would cost a normal human $4000. When not secretly courting human females, Dana enjoys literature of all sorts, movies, video game testing, casting wizard spells, and collecting all the fliers from Berwer shows.
He is a registered Druid priest.
Till Deaf Do Us Part
- Spreading the Butter of Life
- One Unicorn, Two Horns
- PB & BJ
- Gritty Pussy
- Hammer
- 6/8
- The Reactor
- Upper Tanker
- The Unforgiven Part Three (dude just let it go)
- Chainsawar
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Posted by: Fist Clap on 02-26-08 about Berwer
I remember seeing you guys, remember? Aw who am I kiddin' we were all usually to drunk or busy giving/getting head to recall. But I do owe an enlarged penis to your workout progam!
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